“I pledge my commitment to the Blog for Mental Health 2014 Project. I will blog about mental health topics not only for myself, but for others. By displaying this badge, I show my pride, dedication, and acceptance for mental health. I use this to promote mental health education in the struggle to erase stigma.”
I’ve only written a handful of posts here about my experience with mental illness and mental health concerns. Day 276 The Dreaded Form Letter accounted my thoughts and feelings about losing Social Security Disability for depression and anxiety. More recently, Fight or Flight? Freeze. expressed a more personal, albeit somewhat bitter, rant that led me to question exactly how much about my past history to share on this blog after I posted it. It has been my goal ever since I began my PixyGiggles blog to keep it positive, more upbeat, even when I wasn’t feeling quite so optimistic. Lately, it has been a lot harder to accomplish this, A LOT harder.
In retrospect, I can attribute most of this to the feelings of chaos that surrounded the disability review that began in January 2012. The subsequent pressures of having lost my only source of income as a result of this review left me feeling hopeless, reliving the exact same chaos that led to having received SSD in the first place. Early last spring, another situation arose that caused me to reexamine a part of my life that I had hoped would stay in my past. I struggled to maintain my sanity, but ended up reentering therapy in order to deal with these unresolved issues. This also led to another diagnosis of PTSD. What can I say about these types of labels? It is what it is. Labels don’t do much to help the person cope with life, a better understanding of life, emotions, and behavior does.
Therapy is a very slow process. Rather than making headway, I often feel like I’m regressing back to a state of mind that I can only describe as powerfully overwhelming. It is my goal on this blog, as it always has been and as I stated before, to maintain a level of positivity here in order to keep myself on the right track and to, hopefully, help others at the same time, in some way. I do this through art, music, and photography. To be able to create, for me, is my purpose in life. I hope I can somehow help in the cause to erase the stigma of mental illness because there are so many people struggling to live, to simply survive.
Our voices need to be heard!