The skies this past week have reflected my own mood, dark and brooding. The week started off pretty raunchy. I wanted to attend Cookeville’s Christmas parade Monday night and even made the attempt to go. However, I left my house much later than intended and didn’t anticipate problems in finding a place to park my car. After half an hour of driving around aimlessly, I became overwhelmed and frustrated with the crowd. I finally returned home, completely missing the parade. The rest of the week seemed overshadowed by this disappointment.
Financial stress is weighing heavily on my mind. I’ve been through much harder times than these, but the holidays make it so much worse. Commercial advertising during this season does little more than sicken and disgust me. Even if I had the money to shop for loved ones, I’m not so sure that I would be able to do so in good conscience. David calls it “Gimme Day.” Honestly, I can’t blame him a bit for that. I seem to find myself redefining what the holiday season means to me and what traditions I wish to include in the celebration thereof.
Having been brought up in a Christian household, I understand the reasoning behind, “Jesus is the reason for the season.” As a child and teen, I would have argued that myself. However now, I see this holiday season as so much more than only the observed celebration of Christ’s birth. Further back in history, celebrations of this time of year observed the cycles of change that affected everyone’s life and a renewed hope that all would be well. I so look forward to the winter solstice which marks the turning point of the year when the “rebirth of the sun” begins the gradual increase in sunlight once again. This aspect of the holiday is so often overlooked nowadays.
Here it is closer to midnight than I intended to release my thoughts. I will only add that I’m sorry that I’ve been a little more quiet than usual in my comments and responses lately. I’m afraid that the darker the days grow so does my mood and my ability to communicate effectively. At least I know in my heart that this cycle is one of contemplation and introspection. It’s as necessary as the leaves falling from the trees. Change is guaranteed in that respect. The end of one cycle brings hope for new beginnings.