Today was another cold, dreary day. My mood has been falling on the side of pessimism lately which gave me the idea to somehow capture my mood through a photograph. Abstract ideas are not my strong suit. I find that I struggle to describe abstract ideas through words, let alone my artwork. I almost did not title this one “Screw It” because I worried that the title might be construed as too vulgar. After thinking about it for a bit, though, I decided that was the perfect title since my idea was to convey my mood from the past few days.
One of these days maybe I’ll liberate myself by not caring so much about what other people think, but I find that I do care because so many people have irrational responses to the actions of others. This reminds me of a conversation I had with a friend in my car a long time ago. I was driving and another car cut me off to get in the turning lane where I was going. She yelled out the window at the oblivious driver in front of us. I can’t remember exactly what she yelled, but I was mortified and told her so. She asked me the question, “Why do you care so much about what other people think?” I couldn’t answer her. Even though I don’t really remember much else about the conversation, that moment in time and that question often return to my mind.
Why do I care so much about what other people think? I think it’s because I don’t want to offend other people. It is never my intent to upset, annoy, or cause resentment. However, just because it is not my intent does not mean that it still doesn’t happen. I was always under the assumption that if I have offended someone by something I have said or done then that was my problem. That was not a rational belief, though. I have no control over what other people think or the actions that follow as a result of their thoughts. I only have control over my own thoughts and actions.
I think my mood is a reflection of the current political and religious climate as much as it is of the weather. Pure craziness right now! I hope we can all agree to find a balance in order to diffuse the high tempers and irrationality that is plaguing us all.